Writing with Confidence that’s Contagious to Your Reader

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he example has TEN separate instances of words or phrases that show uncertainty! Notice how the writer sounds uncertain of everything, belittling both the park and what its staff and volunteers can do. This writer went way overboard to avoid making promises, and the result is that everything sounds small, wishy-washy, and not worth funding.

Birch Park is just a small wildlife refuge with a few educational programs, but we believe that if you decide to fund us, we should be able to maintain our paths and clean up litter every week or so. We will also try to start keeping records of some of the species in the park, so that we might be able to tell if their populations decline, and then see if we can help them.

Now take a look at an example with the opposite problem.  How many words and phrases do you see that make the writer seem untrustworthy or vain?

Birch Park is the most beautiful wildlife refuge in the state and has the best educational programs. Once you fund us, we will maintain our paths and clean up litter every week, and we will start keeping records of all plant and animal species in the park, so that we know if their populations decline, and then we will determine the reasons for any population problem and fix it if possible.

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